Raised Christian and told being gay is a sin, so I married a man.

I come from a very conservative home. I was raised Christian my entire life. I had to go to church every Wednesday and Sunday. I was told being gay was a sin and I’d burn in hell.

As I became an adult I was against it and if I’m honest when gay marriage was passed I was scared because of how brain washed I was by my childhood.

So you could only imagine how I felt when I realised I was gay. I was freaking out but I couldn’t stay away from her. I was married and had 3 children with him. 

What would everyone think? 

I wasn’t happy but that didn’t matter to the world. I was supposed to make my marriage work.

What would my children think? Seeing mommy be with a woman.

One night I was lay in bed and read a quote, it said ‘Coming home from a failed marriage is better than coming home in a coffin.’ Right in that moment it clicked.

I would rather have my children see me happy and loved properly than for them to continue to be exposed to my toxic marriage with a man.

I stopped caring what anyone thought or said. I was happy with her like never before. I knew that I loved her and she loved me. That’s all that mattered.

Author: Krista Korrine Smith
Pronouns: she/her
Titles: Abuse Survivor, Preacher of Positive Vibes, Fitness Queen, Blogger

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