Why does he ignore me?
To give you reasons why he ignores you, would be justifying his actions. And I’m not going to give you that comfort.
I’m going to give you real facts.
The kind you’re not wanting to read, but the kind you need to hear.
He doesn’t care enough.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t treat you great at other times.
But it does mean he doesn’t care enough. About you. About himself. About growth, and about investment in a relationship.
Ignoring people comes from a place of rejection. When we ignore people, we are making a choice to temporarily reject their presence in our lives. This can be a healthy practice, when we need alone time, we make a choice to reject the presence of others.
That doesn’t mean we don’t love those people, it’s simply an act of taking time for our self-care.
But when someone actively ignores you, on a recurring basis, there is an issue.
That issue may not be resulting from you, it could be their own internal demons or struggles in life. But they’re still making a choice to ignore you, or ‘reject your presence in their life’.
Even if because of their own struggles, they have a responsibility to recognise the impact they’re having on you, and commit to working at it.
Nobody heals overnight, so you shouldn’t give up after the first time. Or the second.
But if he continues to ignore you, and doesn’t commit to working on himself, it means he doesn’t care.
Because we want someone in our life, we commit to working on it. We commit to getting better for the sake of our relationships.
We commit to trying to make our partners happier, and our relationships healthier.
Just as you commit to helping him heal, he has to commit to helping himself heal.
If he doesn’t he doesn’t care enough.
It might be he doesn’t care about himself. He might not care about you. He might not care about the relationship.
Regardless, it’s a lack of care.
And while you have to invest in the person you love, you also aren’t an endless well of unconditional love.
You also have needs.
You also have struggles.
You also need security.
And continuing to ignoring doesn’t give you that.
So stop making excuses for him.
Stop justifying his actions.
Stop putting your own needs second.
If he’s ignoring you, find a man who doesn’t.
Author: Little Miss James
Titles: Wellness Coach, Trans Femme, Gorgeous Blondey